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April 8, 2014


To: All Base Personnel

From: Anonymous

Re: Mythical NCAA tournament betting pool

This is to remind all base personnel that it is against military regulations and a waste of Air Force time and resources to conduct ‘betting pools’ wagering on the speculated outcomes of sporting events.

However, if there had been such a hypothetical pool, it would have been won by Mr. T, whose address is simply listed as C.

Mr. T. stated that he allegedly won the hypothetical pool by using a complicated algorithm of which Major C of CS disavows any knowledge.

Colonel O declared that no one like a smug J and vowed that his team would best the contest in the upcoming year. Sadly, Major F felt is was his duty to remind Colonel O that sporting teams from his geographical region have an abysmal history of losing major championsships in the formative portions of the athletic season. Colonel O then challenged Major F to a sporting duel from which Major F felt he would emerge triumphant.

Dr. F reminds base personnel that she has available publications enumerating the dangers of gambling, wagering on sporting events and challenging co-workers to contests one cannot hope to win

We are reminded by DJ that choosing sides and wagering on the outcomes of such sporting events is a time-honored tradition and should be approached with the solemn care and reverence due to ancient rituals. Colonel O reminded DJ that no one liked a smart-ass either.

On the bright side, I have been asked to remind personnel that when one season ends, another, inevitably, begins.


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